The Bachelor Games

The Bachelor's 'Simple Simon' Zac

Clearly I need a lobotomy because I’m still watching New Zealand’s most desperate and dateless girls all scrapping it out over one equally desperate Simple Simon.  I don’t know why I do it, but I suspect it’s because I’m just the right mix of romantic and bitchy, and let’s face it The Bachelor is great fodder for bitching and gossiping.

I do wish I could understand the starry eyed, tear inducing adoration for Zac that ‘the girls’ seem to have but I’m really struggling to find anything interesting about him at all.  He’s neither eye-candy nor really intelligent, nor funny.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think he’s a bad guy, just as boring as a yawning, intoxicated girl at a cocktail party.  I don’t know anything about Zac except that he was a lifeguard and has suffered from depression, and you would think that with all the dates he’s been on we’d know more than that by now.

There’s only five districts, oops I mean girls, left in the game and Zac is really getting his traumatised face down pat after every elimination.  I’m ‘really glad’ he’s there; it has been amazing to see him ‘really open up’ and ‘let his walls down’.  I like to know ‘how he’s feeling’ as frequently as possible so it’s ‘really important’ for him to ‘take the next step’ so he can ‘take things to the next level’.  He’s there for ‘the right reasons’ after all he’s ‘looking for love’ and he’s got ‘strong feelings’ growing.

Thank goodness for Lily!  She is legit the best thing about The Bachelor.  She knows what she’s doing, she’s just relaxing and enjoying the vibe whilst toying with Zac like a cat does with a bird before it’s mangled enough to eat.  Lily has everything she needs, booze, travel, accommodation and a bozo that’s spellbound enough to keep her there for the long run.

Dear young Claudia the ‘fanny blocker’ will provide the soft place to fall when Lily dumps Zac’s picked over carcass aside and packs her bags for more stimulating pastures.  To be honest I think they’re a great match, they’ve got chemistry, and nice cosy simple minds.  They’ll have happy, robust, dumb kids together.

If I hear another tearful sniffle of ‘I just need more time with Zac’ I’ll eliminate the whinging bitch myself.  I’ve watched these girls constantly sitting by the pool, drinking cocktails, dressing up for cocktail parties, travelling, and going on great ‘group dates’, why the fuck would they need to see more of Zac.  Be elusive bitch, there’s a reason you’re on The Bachelor – what you’ve been doing isn’t working because you’re coming across as clingy...  Also, don’t give us that ‘it’s hard’ bullshit, it looks pretty easy to me - apart from submerging yourself in an ice bath in order to get alone time with Zac – truly desperate love.

The storm of emotions leading up to the rose ceremony is sickening.  One would think that Zac was going to use a ‘hunger games’ style elimination and remove a girl with a bullet to the head with the amount of weeping and quivering going on.  It would be a whole different game if that’s how things went.  You’d have to be next level desperate or utterly ruthless to enter.  Zac would be getting more than just sneaky kisses at the cocktail party as the girls fought for survival no matter what. 

They’d still be all pathetic and tearful at the rose ceremony, clinging to each other and trying to pull Zac aside, but it would be totally understandable because once all the roses were handed out and one girl was left standing without one, the girls would know that she was not staying, but she was definitely not going home.  Dom would sinisterly walk in with a loaded hand gun, and say ‘**** you did not get a rose, you have been eliminated, take a minute and say your goodbyes’. The girls would be desperately relieved that they’ve survived another day but sad and horrified that a girl is about to be properly eliminated from their midst. They’d hug and cry just like usual and then Dom would come and put a bullet between her eyes and Zac would look all traumatised and sad – like usual.

 Have any of ‘the girls’ discussed how the prize package actually isn’t as good as the game?  Really just competing is the prize.  I’d much rather win the travel and stuff than Zac, what the hell would I do with him- have a long conversation about whether we’re ‘opening up enough’?  I think if I got to the final two I’d make sure I didn’t win, and if that didn’t work I’d have to use the ‘Smith Manouver’ and cut loose quicker than a man looking for love and then deciding he wanted something more casual.

Naked Selfies

Don't expose yourself to criticism by sending naked pics to unreliable sources.

Where to start on a topic so rich as this? I've felt many things in regards to stories about naked selfies.  The most recent and high profile release of one was of Jennifer Lawrence after she allegedly had them hacked from her phone. I haven't been tempted to look at them at all as that was her private business and I'm pretty sure she didn't make them for me to view- so I felt sorry for her that her intimate moment meant for herself or a loved one has been taken away from her.  I don't think  she should feel ashamed of herself as she clearly has every right to share this picture with someone if she wants to and no one has the right to take that from her.  It's really the selfie thieves that should feel ashamed.

I've heard so many times now about guys sending dick pics to girls and posting them on tinder etc.  Mate we assume if we're interested in guys then it's highly likely you've got a penis.  We don't need to see the proof and nor do we want to, if that's the best you can do you probably just are a dick and not worth bothering with. If you do want to send a dick pic then just send it to your mates- seriously- they are probably much more interested than us chicks.

What does seem to be highly prized and has stood the test of time are pictures of naked women.  In the past these pictures were more likely to be found in a Playboy magazine, or a 'dirty girls' calendar or such other smutty publication.  I suspect even getting your wife or girlfriend to agree to have a photograph taken of them in the nude would be a tough ask prior to the privacy of digital technology, as the embarrassing wait for photo's to be developed at the local shop would be too much to bear. But now that we all have our own personal digital device and can share pictures privately and quickly, the allure of sexting and provocative picture sharing has freed up a whole new world of foreplay and enticement.  Sadly though, if you send  your picture to an unreliable source they may expose you in ways you did not consider when you were all hot and heavy and snapping away.  If I'd even found a picture of a naked person when I was younger I'd have to physically take it and show it to people which would both limit the number of viewers whilst also exposing myself as an unreliable person to share secrets with.

I'm not sure why so many teenage girls seem to so easily gift naked selfies to sometimes even unknown guys.  Teenage girls risk opening themselves up to harsh criticism of their bodies and to having their picture shared far and wide amongst their peers.  I think if you send naked selfies to a teenage boy he is highly likely to share this trophy with his mates.  Girls, wait till you are in a long term relationship with a trustworthy partner before you start sending naked pics. Of course if you don't mind having heaps of people see you naked then snap away- though I suggest if you are under 18 you are probably not mature enough to make a good decision about this.  Also, just an idea, since these pictures are so sought after by teenage boys and since you would be the one taking all the risk why not try and get something for it. "$100 for a picture of my tits" once you've got the money just take a picture from google images and send it to him...

SLUTS!

Why is my daughter a slut?

 

Many times I've heard that my teenage daughter is a SLUT.  If she is, what does this actually mean?  What immediately springs to mind is that she must be having sex with a lot of guys because that's what a SLUT is right?  Is it age dependant? Is "SLUT" just a term for young girls that have sex? Who is responsible for labelling her such a thing- mostly other girls it seems.  Are boys SLUTs too?

I've thought about this a lot lately because I don't think my daughter is a SLUT and if she was the definition of SLUT- having loose sexual morals or being sexually promiscuous- then what should I think about this?

My daughter is 14 and has had a couple of long term relationships.  That in itself may seem a bit off but let me assure you that she is a very mature 14yr old.  She is very attractive, very smart and very talented and popular amongst her peers.  The social media world is both supportive and cruel.  We tend to discuss the things said to her and put them in their right place, but the word that has stood out to me is- SLUT.

SLUT seems to be used as a word to mark a girl as dirty, easy, and eager for sex anywhere, anytime.  At my daughters age I very much hope that this is not a description that fits her.  But how does her behaviour become marked as SLUTTY? She certainly enjoys close personal relationships with boys, she seems to enjoy a level of intimacy with them too.  This is a difficult situation as a parent as how does one decide what is appropriate and what is not appropriate?  In our home we have an open dialogue about sex and relationships.  I don't want my kids to have to sneak around behind my back pretending to be all good and proper whilst doing the exact opposite.  Our kids can bring their boyfriends/girlfriends home with them giving us the opportunity to get to know them.  So given that I have met her boyfriends and had them in our home regularly and that we have an open dialogue about it all- is she a dirty SLUT?  Some people say so, mostly other teenage girls.  They probably say it because they know it hurts. Maybe it's jealousy- it's most certainly not meant as a good term an affirmation of her great skills at being a hot young girl.

Let's look at things from a different perspective.  If a young woman, confident in her own body, did like to enjoy sex with several partners over time, is there anything wrong with that?  I think that if you enjoy sex and are doing so with a willing participant then that is absolutely fine.  It's your body to do with what you want.  Most people probably agree in regards to adults but probably  not for young women.  The law says that 16 is the age of consent for sex in NZ and this sets a boundary for parents and children in regards to choices about sex.  This is by no means a one size fits all rule.  Many young people would not be ready for a sexual relationship at this age ( I certainly wasn't) and many would have been ready for a while.  I've heard a lot of (mostly Dad's) talk about getting the shotgun out to protect their Daughters from the dangers of sex with young men and by contrast the "fill your boots"  attitude to their Son's sexual life.  So why the difference in attitude between the sexes? Clearly the danger to young women is pregnancy, this would create much more problems for girls and they should offered options to avoid this now that contraception is available.  Shouldn't we also offer our daughters the freedom to choose when they want to have sex as is offered to young men? I find the ownership of women's sexuality insulting.  It seems that the hierarchy goes like this

>Government>Father>Young woman.

When young men sleep with young women they get to experience a camaraderie, an exciting transition to manhood, a collective high five!  Thank goodness for those SLUTS that make this thrill possible.  By contrast for girls there seems to be an idea that she has lost something, not gained it.  She is now dirtied for all time and heaven forbid that she do it again- especially if she also seems to enjoy it.  What a SLUT! So the teenage girls say, and I reckon the boys have an ear out for who the SLUT's are, of course they do, they don't want to waste time on a frigid girlfriend they want some easy access SLUT's to have some fun  with. That's why teenage girls are quick to call "SLUT" , because SLUT's ruin their chances at love, SLUT's get all the attention and so "nice girls" should hate SLUT's.  It doesn't matter if you are actually a SLUT or not, if you are getting too much attention then you should be labelled a SLUT so that everyone knows you are dirty, unclean and already used.

I'm against anyone being pressured for sex.  Sex is to be enjoyed by two people who actively want to participate in.  The best I can hope for for my daughter is that she gets to enjoy her first sexual experience with someone she chooses, when she chooses to and when she is ready.  I hope that afterwards she won't feel like a SLUT but like a woman in charge of herself stepping into adult life when she chooses. 

Girls calling Girls SLUT's -they're nasty, immature and probably a SLUT themselves!