WOW Polly, Did you really say that!?

Stuff that's all terribly boring to Polly...

I attended WOW (World of Wearable Arts Award Show) in the weekend and it was mind-blowingly good.  My friends Mum was exceedingly generous in buying us some tickets and enabling my long held desire to attend.  We made a day-long road trip together from Palmy to Wellington with just enough time to check out David Jones, and then enjoy a mouth stimulating cocktail near the waterfront at Foxglove before the show.

The day was already a winner before I’d even stepped into the TSB Arena for WOW. It was in this wandering around Wellington stage that my friend brought up Radio DJ Polly Gillespie’s ranty- tanty article about WOW.  We both screwed up our faces and said “F*ck her”.  My friend had not even read the article because she thinks Polly is just pathetic and won’t give her the time of day anyway, but I just had to check it out.  Maybe she heard wrong, maybe, Polly who asks for so much tolerance and understanding for herself, would never criticise something she had never even seen, maybe it was a stitch up...

WOW!  She did it!! Unbelievably Polly took the time to weave a tale all about why she found WOW so annoying.  She actually called her uninformed perspective “anti-antsy-pantsy-arty-farty-fartiness”!  She went on to describe this world event of extremely high calibre “all a bit of a craft project on steroids." She thinks WOW is a giant inconvenience to her and her friends, who get exasperated by all the women that come and get in their way in Wellington.  

That’s fine to talk shit with your friends Polly, hell everybody does that right? But to publicly talk shit and belittle people that find it outrageous to buy a $500 t-shirt from your friends shop is just the height of snobbery. Personally I think most of the Radio DJ’s on popular radio are quite moronic (Vaughan Smith and Karen Hay are notable exceptions, as are probably most people on National Radio) and I’m shocked that people can listen without wanting to grate their ears off, but I wouldn’t usually pick a public forum to air that .  And besides, I’ve got an audience of say a few hundred people at most, not the tens of thousands that you probably have. 

When you ask “What would Coco Chanel say for God's sake?” well I imagine she wouldn’t waste her time talking to someone so ill-informed about fashion as you, she’d probably go to WOW to recruit talent and rejuvenate her soul. I also would like to point out that you are not living in “POLLYWOOD”, but actually Wellington, where people like the arts a lot!  It does seem that you think that WOW is “silly” because it’s not all about you.  Well thank goodness because POLLYWOOD would not be a place I’d like to hang out.  Your stunningly cruel jibes about how people outside of Wellington dress say nothing about them and everything about you.  You’re a mean girl Polly and extremely selfish.  Why couldn’t you just say that shit to your friends and leave it at that?

So let me fill you in on the people that you have been talking shit about.  Well, for a start Dame Suzie Moncrieff whose heartfelt write up at the beginning of the programme should have you weeping tears of sorrow for your ‘silly’ words.  This amazing woman spent her life making WOW what it is and still feels passionate about she’s done.  I want to cry with gratitude for the inspiration that she is, if only you would cotton on Polly. The Directors from Inside Out productions Mike Mizrahi and Marie Adams along with artist Reuben Paterson who created this stunning show from threads of creativity inside their heads probably and hopefully won’t be wounded by your mindless comment. Probably Weta , who made the giant lifelike tiger that moved and spoke with Jermaine Clements voice, they might feel a bit put out about it.  Maybe Don Mcglashan who worked on the cleverly chosen music that saturated our souls, or the lighting guy that had us enthralled with at times terrifying and at times mesmerising light work might feel a bit f*cked off Polly.  Maybe the dancers that kept the show pumping on a set that moved, a magical constantly changing set, might feel miffed.  How about the designers that aren’t actually trying to make any type of clothing that you might want to wear? That’s really silly Polly- WOW is about art, it’s about showing just how amazing your skills are, what you can achieve when your creativity and your skills combine.   I’m not sure how long their designs take but I could well imagine it would be months if not years of work.  An award for your entry could be a career defining moment in a young designer’s life, not to mention for the models, dancers and all the cast and crew that create such an amazing spectacle.

Because I’ve seen how upset you get when people say bad things to you, I am utterly gobsmacked at your ruthless casting aside of the skills of such a huge bunch of talented people, basically anyone who participates in the arts, and their appreciation society.  At the very least you could have witnessed it first hand before you commented.

 I’d like you to suck it up and go see a show Polly, buy a programme so you can read about the amazing people behind the scenes, then, at least, you can comment with some knowledge which would be a great turnaround from your ignorant uniformed rant.  

I hope next year someone enters a design called Polly’s Big Mouth, and that it takes up the whole stage and maggots fall out of it, or maybe you could just open the show with a giant apology...

P.S. I drove my car all around Wellington and I hope I cut you off... 

probably not supposed to use this image.

Don't be a Stick in the Mud

I like to observe people.  I’m not an obsessive stalker or anything, I mean I just like to mull over the similarities and differences in the way that people conduct themselves and to wonder about why that is so.  I couldn’t do all that without being judgmental in some way, so I guess I also judge people.  Judging people can hurt them so you’ve got to be quite particular about what you say and to whom when you are moving to the next level of discussing your judgmental thoughts.

I’m quite good with metaphors and similies, and that seems like a good way to express the things you might want to say in an abstract way without upsetting any particular party, although to be fair, some people just like to get upset about the smallest things and they just can’t be helped- let them get upset.

So I’ve been thinking about journeys through life and the paths we

choose and what the outcomes are, and I think the best way to illustrate this is with twigs and sticks.  

For the boring/annoying/question asking types who lack imagination – choose the length and thickness of the stick as you see fit.  The stick can be made of anything, personally I’m thinking of a knotted and gnarled groovy looking fallen twig, but for the more diligent you may like to choose a piece of wood that has been fashioned into an even straight line and is more uniform looking.

Anyway, sigh, those boring types always distract from my creative meanderings with their annoyingly practical questions.

Anyway, my twig, as described above, enjoys the thrill of the river ride.  My twig jumps in with no prior planning, no expectations and just enjoys the ride.  If the water is still my twig enjoys floating and thinking about stuff, talking to other chilled out relaxed twigs, and just rejoicing in being a twig in the river. 

The boring sticks, they’re busy making plans to enter the river at the right point, they’re discussing and debating where the flow might take them, all the dangers involved if they enter at the wrong time and how they could minimise any damage that might occur.  They’re getting all bent out of shape over which way is the right way to float and how to maximise their success at floating down the river.  For a start, they’re not going to help any irresponsible twigs whose journey has hit a rough patch; it’s their fault if they didn’t plan ahead.

It’s true that my twig could get into a spot of bother because it’s just floating down the river sometimes seeing amazing things, and having amazing experiences and other times getting thrown around in the rapids and getting smashed into stuff.  But these difficulties mean that my twig is richer in life experiences, even though it may be battle scarred.  Also my twig has to come up with solutions to difficulties as they arise and that means it’s not wasting time planning for problems that may never arise but creatively responding to the ones that do.

By contrast, the straight and orderly sticks are floating through a very narrow, well planned route that will get them to their destination in the most efficient and successful way.  Any problems they run into won’t be ‘their fault’ it will be despite their best laid plans and just a part of the uncontrollable erratic features of the journey down the river.  If they can the orderly sticks will keep these issues to themselves in order to avoid the shame it might bring upon their strategic planning skills.  One might not even know they had troubles such are their skills at ‘faking it till they make it’.

My twig likes to collect colourful things and invite other twigs to

join them on their journey.  Travelling through the muddy waters and little pools at the edge of the river affords great leaf and other colourful item discoveries as well as party opportunities with like minded twigs.  Twigs are happy to party anytime but sticks have planned gatherings at responsible times.  Twig parties are out of control colourful events and stick parties are subdued.  Sticks make sure they are the straightest and cleanest they can be at parties, it’s important to mix with the right sticks to get ahead in life.

As twigs travel down the river they join up in little random rafts with bits of debris as their artwork, they support and help each other through the whole journey.  Sticks travel in small orderly groups, often in groups of two or four.  If someone in the group breaks the stick rules they set them adrift, and sometimes that stick joins the twigs and lives happily ever after.